Socrates, \u201cthe gadfly of Athens,\u201d was one of the greatest philosophers the world has ever known. He did something that only a handful of men in all history have been able to do: he sharply changed the whole course of human thought; and now, twenty-four centuries after his death, he is honored as one of the wisest persuaders who ever influenced this wrangling world.
\nHis method? Did he tell people they were wrong? Oh, no, not Socrates. He was far too adroit for that. His whole technique, now called the \u201cSocratic method,\u201d was based upon getting a \u201cyes, yes\u201d response. He asked questions with which his opponent would have to agree. He kept on winning one admission after another until he had an armful of yeses. He kept on asking questions until finally, almost without realizing it, his opponents found themselves embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly denied a few minutes previously.
\nThe next time we are tempted to tell someone he or she is wrong, let\u2019s remember old Socrates and ask a gentle question\u2014a question that will get the \u201cyes, yes\u201d response.\u00a0 The Chinese have a proverb pregnant with the age-old wisdom of the Orient:\u00a0 \u201cHe who treads softly goes far.\u201d\u00a0 They have spent five thousand years studying human nature, those cultured Chinese, and they have garnered a lot of perspicacity: \u201cHe who treads softly goes far.\u201d
\nEddie Snow, tells how he became a good customer of a shop because the proprietor got him to say \u201cyes, yes.\u201d Eddie had become interested in bow hunting and had spent considerable money in purchasing equipment and supplies from a local bow store. When his brother was visiting him he wanted to rent a bow for him from this store. The sales clerk told him they didn\u2019t rent bows, so Eddie phoned another bow store. Eddie described what happened:
\n\u201cA very pleasant gentleman answered the phone. His response to my question for a rental was completely different from the other place. He said he was sorry but they no longer rented bows because they couldn\u2019t afford to do so. He then asked me if I had rented before. I replied, \u2018Yes, several years ago.\u2019 He reminded me that I probably paid $25 to $30 for the rental. I said \u2018yes\u2019 again. He then asked if I was the kind of person who liked to save money. Naturally, I answered \u2018yes.\u2019 He went on to explain that they had bow sets with all the necessary equipment on sale for $34.95. I could buy a complete set for only $4.95 more than I could rent one. He explained that is why they had discontinued renting them. Did I think that was reasonable? My \u2018yes\u2019 response led to a purchase of the set, and when I picked it up I purchased several more items at this shop and have since become a regular customer.\u201d\u00a0 Dale Carnegie, \u201cHow to Win Friends & Influence People.\u201d
\nIn talking with people, don\u2019t begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing\u2014and keep on emphasizing\u2014the things on which you agree. Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.\u00a0 Get the other person saying \u201cYes, yes\u201d at the outset. Keep your opponent, if possible, from saying \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 A \u201cNo\u201d response, according to Professor Overstreet, is a most difficult handicap to overcome. When you have said \u201cNo,\u201d all your pride of personality demands that you remain consistent with yourself. You may later feel that the \u201cNo\u201d was ill-advised; nevertheless, there is your precious pride to consider! Once having said a thing, you feel you must stick to it. Hence it is of the very greatest importance that a person be started in the affirmative direction<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Socrates, \u201cthe gadfly of Athens,\u201d was one of the greatest philosophers the world has ever known. He did something that only a handful of men in all history have been able to do: he sharply changed the whole course of human thought; and now, twenty-four centuries after his death, he is honored as one of …<\/p>\n