In his book I Ain\u2019t Much, Baby\u2014But I\u2019m All I Got, the psychologist Jess Lair comments: \u201cPraise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of praise.\u201d\u00a0 Let us praise even the slightest improvement. That inspires the other person to keep on improving.
\nUse of praise instead of criticism is the basic concept of B. F. Skinner\u2019s teachings. This great contemporary psychologist has shown by experiments with animals and with humans that when criticism is minimized and praise emphasized, the good things people do will be reinforced and the poorer things will atrophy for lack of attention.\u00a0 Everybody likes to be praised, but when praise is specific, it comes across as sincere\u2014not something the other person may be saying just to make one feel good.
\nWilliam James, one of the most distinguished psychologists and philosophers America has ever produced:\u00a0 Compared with what we ought to be, we are only half awake. We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources. Stating the thing broadly, the human individual thus lives far within his limits. He possesses powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use.
\nYes, you who are reading these lines possess powers of various sorts which you habitually fail to use; and one of these powers you are probably not using to the fullest extent is your magic ability to praise people and inspire them with a realization of their latent possibilities.\u00a0 Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement.
\nThere is an old saying: \u201cGive a dog a bad name and you may as well hang him.\u201d But give him a good name\u2014and see what happens!\u00a0 Tell your child, your spouse, or your employee that he or she is stupid or dumb at a certain thing, has no gift for it, and is doing it all wrong, and you have destroyed almost every incentive to try to improve. But use the opposite technique\u2014be liberal with your encouragement, make the thing seem easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an undeveloped flair for it\u2014and he will practice until the dawn comes in the window in order to excel.
\nAlways make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.\u00a0 Woodrow Wilson followed that policy even when inviting William Gibbs McAdoo to become a member of his cabinet. That was the highest honor he could confer upon anyone, and yet Wilson extended the invitation in such a way as to make McAdoo feel doubly important. Here is the story in McAdoo\u2019s own words: \u201cHe said that he was making up his cabinet and that he would be very glad if I would accept a place in it as Secretary of the Treasury. He had a delightful way of putting things; he created the impression that by accepting this great honor I would be doing him a favor.\u201d
\nThe effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:
\n1.\u00a0Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.
\n2.\u00a0Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.
\n3.\u00a0Be empathetic. Ask yourself what it is the other person really wants.
\n4. Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.
\n5.\u00a0Match those benefits to the other person\u2019s wants.
\n6.\u00a0When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In his book I Ain\u2019t Much, Baby\u2014But I\u2019m All I Got, the psychologist Jess Lair comments: \u201cPraise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant …<\/p>\n